Monday, November 1, 2010

Logline Blogfest

Welcome to Steena Holmes' Logline Blogfest! (and happy first day of Nano!!)

The blogfest is pretty straightforward - just post the logline for your novel or project. Steena was gracious enough to allow all participants two lines! However, I've got a one-liner already written, so I'm going to use that. This is the logline for my paranormal romance, Faerie Fate.

"When Holly Reed discovers her father’s a renegade faerie out to kill her before he starts a war with humankind, her only chance for survival may be to accept the protection of Shadow, the faerie who claims he’s her soul mate."

I also wrote a haiku logline just for fun:

Faeries are real. What?!
Rogue fae father wants her dead.
Can soul mate save her?

Now go check out all the other loglines. And if you're writing for NaNo this year - have fun and go write!

23 comments:

N. R. Williams said...

Good log line Mara. I love the picture. What a mean father...I guess he didn't get enough love growing up.
Nancy
N. R. Williams, fantasy author

vbtremper said...

Nice to "meet" you, Mara. I also love that photo!

At first glance I really like this logline. But in an effort to help you, I've delved deeper. I'm not sure of the conflict. Why is it a problem for her to accept Shadow's protection? Also, give us a tiny something more about Holly. Did she know she's faerie? Is she only part faerie?

That's my 2 cents. Good luck!
Vicki

Mara Nash said...

Thanks, Vicki! I agree with you that the logline needs to be tighter and give more info. I've got a query letter written with 3 short paragraphs that are much better. If and when I need a single logline for real, I'll need to polish this one better!

Angela Felsted said...

Great log line!

gideon 86 said...

Wonderful concept. You gave a lot of information in that one line. I agree somewhat with Vicki, however the name shadow implies something dark and evil.

Michael

salarsenッ said...

Hi! Hopped over from Steena's. I really like the beginning of the logline--great setup. The only element I think needs a little more exploring is why does it matter that this guy says he's her soul mate. Is he dangerous? Is he an enemy of her dad's? What is that part of the conflict.

Other than that, I think it's great.

Jamie said...

I really like this, too. It would make me read further! I agree a bit about not really understanding why accepting Shadow's help is a problem. Maybe you could add a little snippet after "he's her soul mate" to reflect what she thinks about that. But very good overall!

lbdiamond said...

Great comments! I agree, I like this a lot!

Love the Haiku too--so imaginative! :D

Nicole Zoltack said...

Great logline!

I wanted to know why Holly's father wanted to kill her. And a little more about Holly. We know what happens to her, but hardly anything about her.

Quinn said...

I like the logline and the concept. I'm just wondering about Shadow. The logline makes it seem like Holly may not want to accept his protection, but I just don't see a reason for that -- aferall, soulmate isn't a bad thing.

Steena Holmes said...

Love the picture Mara! Love the logline too - you managed to throw so much in just 1 sentence! You've got some great suggestions - I think you could tighten it up a tad bit - or break it up.

It takes 11 words for us to find out her life is in danger - can you shorten that? I would say 'starting a war'

I was told that in my logline I neglected to show why the reader should 'care' for my characters. You have hints, but I think if you tighten and strengthen your logline, you'll see it!

Vicki Rocho said...

This is good in the sense it leaves me wanting to read more to get answers, but there are almost too many questions.

Why does her father want to kill her? Why does he want to start a war on humans? Why is it a problem to accept Shadow's protection? Is he a misfit? Is he capable of protecting her? Is it the soul mate part? I want just a little bit more info.

RaShelle said...

Hi Mara. Beautiful Haiku.
Your story sounds interesting. I certainly want to know more about it.

It seems you've had plenty of suggestions. Good luck. =D

Andrea Franco-Cook said...

Good logline, but I would like to know why Holly's father is interested in murdering her. You really don't explain the conflict (what drove her father to this decision). Also, I'm not sure that the "soul mate" reference adds anything to the logline. Then again, you only have a couple of sentences to fit it all in. What do I know anyway? Don't answer that.(:

Marieke said...

That sounds great! The only thing I'd want to know is, what's the catch if she accepts Shadow's protection? Cause it seems like there is one :)

LS said...

Great. I get a really good sense of what the story is about. Especially with the awesome haiku! :)

Rachael Harrie said...

Hey Mara, great pitch :)

A couple of comments (I'll try not to repeat the great suggestions above). Firstly, I had a bit of difficulty with her father trying to kill her "before" he started the war - it sounded almost like you're running the concepts together, and not placing enough emphasis on either one - I'd almost stick with him trying to kill her and remove the war part from the logline, as killing his daughter adds a lot more punch IMHO.

Also, I'm pretty sure I remember your entry from the First Page Blog Fest, and if I remember, Shadow claims her for his own (against her wishes). I'd actually put the "claiming her for his own" in rather than the soulmate part, as that adds the conflict that other people have suggested you need.

Good luck with it, hope my suggestions help :)

Rach

Madeleine said...

Interesting logline, I'm wondering why her father wants to kiss her though?

Stina Lindenblatt said...

Love the picture!

This is a great start.

Is it a big deal that Holly accepts the protection of Shadow? I don't understand what the conflict is (other than the father part). So she accepts his protection. End of story. Now I don't have to read the book. See what I'm getting at?

Jackee said...

Poetry for the logline and a gorgeous picture?! :o) Yours is the most original I've seen today. WTG!

I would only suggest finding a way to up the tension and highlight the conflict. Something that would help would be to be specfic on the threat to humankind and faeriekind.

Best of luck and great to meet you, Mara!! :o)

Najela said...

Your logline helped jumpstart mine. I followed your format and I think it's awesome. I do want to know whether she reluctantly accepts Shadow's help or he is insistent on helping her because he believes he's her soulmate, and she doesn't agree. If I saw this on a book, I'd definitely look at the first page.

Margay said...

This is a good logline - short and concise and makes me want to read the book!

Margay

Karen Akins said...

Good logline. My only question would be, why wouldn't she want to accept the faerie who claims to be her soul mate's help?