A couple of things today:1. I'm a real writer now because I've received 2 rejections this week! Way to go, me. *high fives self* Okay, now that I've experienced that feeling we can bring on the requests for partials and fulls. Right?
2. Day 2 of NaNo! Woohoo!!! I made my word count goal on day one. Only 29 days left...
3. I revised my logline based on all the wonderful, helpful, lovely comments people left after Steena Holmes' Logline blogfest. Here's the new and (hopefully) improved version:
"Holly Reed is a grad student who yearns to solve the mysteries of her absent family, but when she discovers she’s half faerie and the father she never knew is a renegade who sees her as a mistake he must dispose of before he starts a war with humankind, she’s plunged into a world where her ultimate choice is: forfeit her humanity in order to accept the protection of a faerie who claims he’s her soul mate, or have her memory wiped and go back to her human life, giving up her new magic, her new family, and the man she’s grown to love."
I know it's long, but is it better?
Good luck to all NaNo participants. And agents? Um, done with the rejections, bring on the requests. Okay. Thanks!
14 comments:
Rejections fun aren't they? Its great to see the positive in it, which it sounds like you are. Good luck with your future ones!
Rejections pave the path to publishing. Great Job getting your first two.
visit my query letter blogfest happening from dec. 12-18th @
http://jodilhenry.blogspot.com/p/query-letter-blogfest-page.html
Woohoo for NaNo.
J
I really like the logline - every single word. Awesome.
I've only rec'd about 10 rejections - in uhm, 3 years. Yeah, I'm not very brave about querying.
Good luck in your own adventures. *high fives*
.......dhole
Interesting premise, but I think you could lose a lot of the sub plot info and still convey the conflict. I would suggest something like:
Holly Reid discovers she is half fairie after her estranged father tries to kill her (a brief reason should go here). Now,in order to survive, she must choose between (note the conflict here)and (the other choice here).
This is much shorter, but the reader gets the main idea. If he/she wants to know more, then you can elaborate.
I hope this helps. If it's any consolation, I just posted my fourth revision and am about to begin the fifth. Condensing a complex plot into two sentences is daunting. Good luck.
You have the right attitude. Rejections are the stripes you take along your path to publication.
Wear them proudly. :)
Loved your logline!
I've never written my own log line...so all I can say is yours intrigued me and I'd read your book! So, it accomplished its purpose, right (sorry to say I'm not an agent!) I'm still a few rejections ahead of you, but congrats on your first two. I'm sure there's a request out there coming your way soon. Until it does though, we have 2 awards for you back at our blog. Super job on making your first day's nano goal! woo hoo! christy
Hi Mara,
Rejections means something - they mean you actually submitted, so be proud of that.
As for your logline, I prefer the first one. It was short and to the point. Yes, it raised questions - questions that might prompt a reader to want more of the story.
The second one is too wordy, which might lead an agent to believe the story might be as well. Pare it down to something between the two loglines, but not much longer than the first.
The story sounds intriguing...I wish you luck!
I know it's trite, but you only ever really fail if you never try at all.
Great logline! It's a bit long, but I definitely read the book!
Sorry about the rejections, hoping requests follow soon! I haven't participated in NaNo, but do cheerlead for those who do ... Happy writing :)
Grad student Holly Reed discovers she's half faerie when her absentee renegade father tries to dispose of her before starting a war with humankind. Holly is plunged into a new world where she must either accept the protection of a faerie who claims to be her soulmate or have her memory wiped and return to her human life by giving up her new magic, her new family, and the man she's grown to love.
Still love the premise, just tried to tighten some.
That is one loongg sentence :)
Try this.
Introduce your protag, (grad student Holly), a little world-building (half faerie), the antag (her father?), what she wants and why she can't get it.
Too much information makes a pitch bulky. Think of it as a hook instead of a summary.
Try to get it down to 40 words.
It's a great story/premise, Mara, but I do agree there is too much information. I have the same problem with my own logline and it's actually easier to see why too long/too much info is a problem when reading other people's!
Do we need to know she's a grad student? Or about her absent family? 'the father she never knew' is enough, tells us the same thing.
Here's a stab... still too long I think:
"When Holly Reed discovers she’s half faerie and the father she never knew sees her as a mistake he must dispose of before he starts a war with humankind, she is forced to choose between forfeiting her humanity in order to accept the protection of a faerie who claims he’s her soul mate, or to return to human life, giving up her new magic, her new family, and the man she’s grown to love."
Mara - I grabbed your logline -if you have a more up-to-date version - feel free to email me - steenah@telus.net
Yay for calling yourself a real writer!!! That's fantastic news!
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