Monday, January 3, 2011

Show Me Yours Blogfest

So today is part three of the blogfest-a-palooza that started with the Eye Candy Blogfest on the 1st, continued with the No-Kiss Blogfest on the 2nd, and ends today with the Show Me Yours Blogfest.

This blogfest is hosted by the ever lovely Hannah Kincade at Musings of a Palindrome.  The idea of the blogfest is to share a scene from what you wrote during NaNoWriMo.  Although I didn't "win" NaNo this year, I came darn close, managing to write over 30,000 words, so there are plenty of scenes to choose from.

This scene is from the sci-fi novel I'm working on. As a matter of fact, it's a couple of chapters after yesterday's no kiss scene. To set it up: Red (Amie) and Jaska have stolen a map that a lot of other people are after, and are searching for the treasure that the map leads to, which just happens to be on Earth. They are deep in ancient tunnels under the Sahara. The scene is from Jaska's POV.

**************

“Jaska,” Red says, startling me out of my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I say.

“I know you’re in a tight position with that thing in your neck,” it’s like she can read my mind and my skin pebbles at the coincidence that we’d be thinking the same things. “So I really appreciate what you’re doing.”

“How do you know what I’m doing?” I ask.

I hear her footsteps stop behind me and I turn, illuminating her face with my light. She clearly isn’t happy with what I said.

“So what are you doing?” she asks. I can’t tell if she’s going to cry or if she wants to hit me.

“Look, Red. Let’s not do this here. We’ve got a lot to get done and we don’t have time for a chat now.”

I turn to go but I don’t hear footsteps behind me, so again I turn and she hasn’t moved, other than to cross her arms in front of her.

“We’re going to have this conversation now because I’m not going one step further until I know exactly what you’re planning,” she says.

Great, just what I need right now. “Fine, stay here then. I’m going to keep going and find out what the hell this treasure is so we have some kind of bargaining chip,” I turn yet again and continue down the tunnel, grumbling at Red as I walk. “I’m not willing to give up my life over it. And maybe we can work some kind of deal with Gil or Magda or Hawk or whoever the hell else is after it. But we can’t make any deals of any kind if we don’t know what it is. And I have no chance of surviving this little adventure if I don’t keep going forward. So forgive me if I have more on my mind than saving your precious planet from discovery. Believe me, it’ll be discovered eventually one way or another anyway. So it’s no big deal to me if it’s discovered now.”

I’m satisfied to hear her footsteps behind me again, but after several minutes of walking in quiet again I feel her hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Jaska,” she says and I meet her eyes. “We’ll figure a way out of this for you and for Earth.”

I cock a brow at her. “Let’s hope so,” I say. “But if it comes down to a choice between my head and your planet, I’m choosing my head. We can always come back and do something to help here, but I only have one chance.”

“I just don’t want to be responsible for leading the forces of destruction to Earth.”

I pat her hand, still on my shoulder, then restart the trek down the tunnel. “Sometimes change is good, Red.”

******************

Hope you like it! Now go read the rest of the scenes from the Show Me Yours Blogfest!

18 comments:

Angela Felsted said...

I think it's great you did NaNo write whether or not you won.

Sarah Ahiers (Falen) said...

oooh, intriguing! Bringing forces of destruction to earth is awlays something that will attract my attention. I'm hooked.
Great job!

Ellie said...

Congratulations on reaching 30,000. Whether you won or not, it is an amazing achievement and you should be very proud of yourself.

The last few lines of your excerpt have me completely hooked. I want to read more! Great writing.

Sarah said...

The last line is gold.

Rebecca T. said...

Sometimes change is good!? Wow! What a line... nice set up here. I'm intrigued :)

Lisa Potts said...

I like Amie. She's spunky. Great excerpt. Thanks for sharing.

The Golden Eagle said...

I love the idea of a choice between the character and Earth. Great blogfest post!

NiaRaie said...

Who cares that you didn't win NaNo? That's a lot of words, so pat yourself on the back. And I'm big on character names and I must say that I LOVE yours. Esp Magda, Hawk and Jaska :)

Summer Ross said...

Your last line is wonderful!

L'Aussie said...

This is such a great idea, putting our NaNo efforts out there. Great excerpt. Happy New Writing Year!

Hannah Kincade said...

oooh, I love the premise! Thanks for letting us peek. You'll have to let us know when you're all done!

Thanks for joining us and even if you didn't "win" NaNo, you got at least 30k written! Woo-hoo!!

Elizabeth Twist said...

I'm intrigued by the hints about what's around Red's neck, and I would love to know more about that treasure. Congrats on writing 30k! That's a huge amount. Happy continued writing in 2011.

Summer Frey said...

Ooh, what's in Red's neck? Curious!!

I really appreciate you joining the blogfest even though you didn't hit 50k--that's exactly the spirit we were looking for.

Great job!

Jodi Henry said...

not to sound repetative, but your last line is fantastic! Love the premise here too. Great job.

J

Jodi Henry said...

not to sound repetative, but your last line is fantastic! Love the premise here too. Great job.

J

Jessica Lei said...

Yay, more! I love their interaction. I like Jaska's voice, too. Great job, just like before! Thaaaaaaaanks for feeding me more :D

Jon Paul said...

Hmmm...this really left me wanting more! I'm intrigued by the decision they have in front of them, and want more details.

Great scene! Thanks for sharing it!

kelworthfiles said...

The characters are definitely catching my interest. Something about the way you're describing the action in the first few sentences seems off - maybe it's just the grammar needing a bit of tweaking.

So - who is it who might discover Earth, the other treasure hunters? And just what does Jaska have in her neck - some implant that could explode or otherwise kill her?

I loves me a bit of dramatic sci-fi, so thanks for sharing this piece, I enjoyed reading it!