Thursday, October 7, 2010

At First Sight Blogfest

Thanks to Jacee Drake for hosting the At First Sight Blogfest!  You should definitely go check out all the entries. It's going to be loads of fun!

My entry is an excerpt from my novel, Faerie Fate. To set it up for you: Holly has never known her father, but pretty much by accident she discovers he's a rogue faerie intent on starting a war with humanity. But first, he wants to eliminate her. He sees her as a weakness, a loose end that needs to be tied up.  This little bit is her first meeting with him, at his place of business.

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Holly heard her father’s voice from within, her very first impression of him.

“Well then, Abelo, what are you waiting for? By all means, bring her in.” His voice was like warm molasses dripped on frozen ice cream – soft and charming on the surface but brittle and icy underneath. It made her shudder and somewhere in her heart she gave up any last scraps of the childhood dreams she’d harbored about her father. She didn’t have to use her empathic skills to sense that he would be a cruel and determined force to deal with. His voice said it all.

Abelo moved further into the room, holding the door for her and allowing her a first glimpse of her mysterious father. Her heart was already pounding as she entered, but when she saw him her breath caught in her throat. She recognized their physical resemblance at once, and had to struggle with his affect on her empathy. He radiated charisma, an unyielding and powerful figure, but she sensed there was more; something buried deep down that she couldn't identify.

He was tall, with jet black hair kept neat and short, and eyes so sharply green she could see their emerald sparkle - and fierce intensity - from across the room. A dark crimson shirt, the sleeves folded to just below the elbow, accentuated his broad shoulders, trim waist, muscled arms and strong hands. The charcoal jacket which completed his suit, lay neatly over the back of his chair. He may not like being human, but he wore it well, formidably even. When their eyes met his lips spread into a magnetic smile, which didn't reach his eyes, and she sensed the wicked charm pouring off of him.

“Well, the prodigal daughter returns at last. Welcome home, Holly.”

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Now, go check out the other entries!

12 comments:

Christopher S. Ledbetter said...

Beautifully written and very descriptive.
Loved this line--"His voice was like warm molasses dripped on frozen ice cream"

Francine said...

Hi,

Oh nicely done and emotions running rife before holly entered, then her father's fearsome charm to be reckoned with. I get the feeling things are not going to go as well for him, as he expects. ;)

best
F

Jen Chandler said...

Nicely done! You've created an intriguing introduction to a very menacing character. :D

Jen

Tyrean Martinson said...

Beautiful, intriguing and well-written from start to finish. I want to read more!

Brenda Drake said...

"His voice said it all." I shuddered as well. He's not human but he wears it well. His smile doesn't reach his eyes. Wonderful way to bring out how uncaring he is. Loved it! :D

Cinette said...

The hair went up on the back of my neck when he told her "Welcome home".
Great post!

Tessa Conte said...

Nice! Lovely work, my dear, but then your writing always is. I'm about halfway through your script btw...


As for blogfestiness...I'm really late with my entry...yikes!

Rachel Morgan said...

I also liked, "He may not like being human, but he wore it well" :-)

Good descriptions, well written.
Well done :-)

Mara Nash said...

Thanks for the kind words, everyone! I've tried to make rounds of all the entries. Tessa, tsk tsk on the lateness but I'll come and check out yours too!

J.C. Martin said...

Ooh...menacing, yet seductively charming. I love villains like that! And molasses and ice-cream. *mmm...*

WritersBlockNZ said...

what a chilling first impression! Great job :)

Dawn Embers said...

Good entry. I like the part about his voice. I've heard people compare things to molasses on a number of occasions, and have used it once myself I believe. However, I've never seen one talk about adding it to ice cream. It sounds like a strange combination and yet makes sense based on the description.